Have you ever found yourself holding back? Waiting for that perfect time? Perfect person? Perfect place? Of course you have, who are you kidding. You’re human.
I don’t think this is limited to big feats or adventures (i.e. go on the trip, what you are waiting for!) Honestly, I will buy a cute new article of clothing, and NOT WEAR IT for weeks because I’m waiting for the “perfect” or “right” opportunity. What the hell is the “right moment” to wear a bell-sleeved floral blouse? The thing is, I realize my absurdity, but I do it anyways. Brains, am I right?
My analysis of this bizarre behavior keeps bringing me back to my inability to live in the moment. This is all the more frustrating because being present is part of the stuff I rattle off all the time as a yoga teacher – “live in the present”, “be here, in this moment”, “all you have is now”. What a hypocrite. Ok, I’m not totally a hypocrite because I am aware and understand the value of living presently, and sometimes I’m REALLY good at it – usually when I’m having a great time and I’m sans electronics. It truly is something I work at CONSTANTLY – but I’m human, which is why I struggle with the pull of past and future.
When I’m not living now, I base decisions in some life down the road that doesn’t and might not ever exist. I “save” my new outfit for some “perfect” evening that may never come, instead of just rocking that romper to the grocery (DO IT!). Instead of going out to dinner with friends and ENJOYING a life right now I stay in because I’m terrified every penny I spend is one I wont have for my future trip to Ireland (what I find myself counting down days for). There’s nothing wrong with being smart, and planning ahead, but not living your life based on the future is absolutely NUTZ.
I really hate to say this because he’ll read this and congratulate himself but I realized a bit of this last night talking to my husband. I told him I wanted to do more things and maybe get out of town for a weekend – to essentially shake up the routine. He responded that was fine, but I would have to quit turning people down when they asked us to do things in the future….WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME I’M CONTRIBUTING TO MY OWN PROBLEM! Clearly dinner isn’t as exciting as a trip to Dingle, Ireland so I shouldn’t waste my money…save, save, save….wait wait wait. Lunacy.
My waiting around, and saving for something “better” basically has me missing out on the opportunities of now. I as much as the next person, love to have something to look forward to. It’s ok if you have your fancy outfit saved for a special occasion, and you’re looking forward to that great trip you have planned. The issue comes when you let future events (especially ones that don’t yet exist) get in the way of living your life right now. So, what are you waiting for?
“Life happens when you’re busy making other plans” – John Lennon